You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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