oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
