Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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