Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
