Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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