So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
