If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dear god my vagina.
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