i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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