Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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