I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize