There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we're making bets on your personal life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
