Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
