weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
