Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
