But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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