It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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