She announced her abortion via fbk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
