It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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