Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
