Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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