worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
