I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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