have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
