Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
