you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize