I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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