we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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