How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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