dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
