he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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