there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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