At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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