is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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