Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
