I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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