I could make wine with my vomit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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