youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
