Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sarcasm needs its own font
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
