Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
