Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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