Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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