Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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