Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize