He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
