the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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