So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
