You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize