Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
