Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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