so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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