I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
