Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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