Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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