Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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