Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
