I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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