You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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