I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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