It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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