this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
