i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
