We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
