you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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