The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
